2004-07-24 - 1:10 p.m.

i feel like i'm on the edge of something. about to crack one way or another. i think restriction may be on the horizon. i'm moving in a week and my roommate knows about my eating past. no more bathroom of my own, no more b/p. hopefully.

i'm sick of feeling fat, i must lose weight. i want my 15.whatever bmi back. i want to feel small and safe and be able to have people pick me up and toss me around. i want to be called fragile again.

after i purge this.. i may just take the pills. i've already speedwalked/jogged 5k today, maybe it's a good start.

add water - stir