2004-12-11 - 12:01 p.m.

I am so filled with sadness it's overwhelming. I feel so very alone. So much like I'll always be this alone.

I'm having a really hard time connecting with people lately.

My bestfriends dad made a comment to her today about me. "has she gained weight?" the dreaded phrase. but he followed it with "she looks like it in the face, she looks healthy and really pretty". But all I can think is that I've lost at least 6 or 8 pounds since I last saw him. What the fuck?

Why do I feel so fucking alone?
I want to cry.

add water - stir