2005-05-30 - 6:21 p.m.

It's been so long since I updated this.. I've been really sick.

I don't think it was caused by bulimia, but I came down with this really bad infection in my tonsils. They swelling was so bad I had trouble breathing.
2 weeks, 3 dr's appointments, 1 course of antibiotics, 2 courses of steriods, and a bottle of painkillers later... I am mostly better. I purged through the first week of my sickness, but I went into so much pain I couldn't eat, nevermind purge. The steriods I'm on require me to eat 4-5 times a day with my doses, or I get killer stomach cramps.

I haven't purged in something like a week now. This is the longest I've gone in probably 2 years. Of course, I am freaking out over weight gain. The giganticness of my stomach... people saying I look healthier (and not understanding.. cause I'm "so sick" with this infection)

However, the beast within me waits. I have a feeling I'll be purging before the day is over.

I was never cut out for normal life.

add water - stir