2005-06-23 - 4:18 p.m.

Sometimes I think about how ugly I am and it makes me want to die.

In a quiet sort of way.

Ugh.. why did I just weigh myself? I took time away from writing this entry to go weigh myself and now I feel like crying. I'm such a huge lump.

Yesterday at work this girl told me "you know you're VERY skinny" after I was talking to her about needing to tone up. Why do people think they can comment?

HOW DOES ANYONE ELSE NOT SEE THIS DISGUSTING LAYER OF BLUBBER?!?!!!

Sometimes I feel like everyone just wants me to be big like them. That it's an ambush to make me "normal weight" so that I'll really be chubby while other people go about losing weight.

My roommate told me she's lost some weight and the thought of it has been driving me insane... my boyfriend has also lost weight recently. I want to scream at them that they're not allowed to.
I'm so fucked in the head.

add water - stir