2005-12-21 - 10:05 p.m.

You always think it's bad, and then it gets worse.

I'm not even eating that badly and the altitude here is making me feel like I'm going to pass out when I go jogging (I'm away from home for the holidays).

It's been a long time since I've wanted to hurt myself so much.

It's been a long time since I've felt or been so fat.

I don't think I'll ever stop hating myself. And that makes me so sad.

add water - stir